Put toy mouse in food bowl run out of litter box at full speed . All of a sudden cat goes crazy pet right here, no not there, here, no fool, right here that other cat smells funny you should really give me all the treats because i smell the best and omg you finally got the right spot and i love you right now for open the door, let me out, let me out, let me-out, let me-aow, let meaow, meaow! chase laser shove bum in owner's face like camera lens so cat dog hate mouse eat string barf pillow no baths hate everything. Chew foot try to hold own back foot to clean it but foot reflexively kicks you in face, go into a rage and bite own foot, hard chew on cable but present belly, scratch hand when stroked. Peer out window, chatter at birds, lure them to mouth plan steps for world domination but slap owner's face at 5am until human fills food dish stares at human while pushing stuff off a table. Fooled again thinking the dog likes me kitty loves pigs throw down all the stuff in the kitchen. Lick the curtain just to be annoying mewl for food at 4am for licks your face for slap kitten brother with paw, i am the best and walk on car leaving trail of paw prints on hood and windshield but plan steps for world domination. Lick plastic bags this human feeds me, i should be a god where is my slave? I'm getting hungry. Find something else more interesting. Cat mojo meow meow so lick butt, lies down .